Sometimes I worry that my second child fits a little too cozily into that number two slot. I wonder if he gets read to nearly as much as my first, if he gets his fair share of uninterupted mama gazes. Because, well ... everything is interrupted around here, a majority of the time. Yet, he seems content to do his own thing while I once again direct my attention to his older brother.
But yet. He is not the first. He does not nurse to sleep. He does not nurse all. the. time. like his brother did. He does not struggle with strong feelings. He does not need to be carried. These are not his issues.
He comes along. He rides on my back, he crawls, he pulls up. He wants desperately to walk. He smiles at his big brother as his big brother cries in frustration, not knowing how to handle a baby who wants to play with his toys, touch his books. If he is dealt a brotherly blow (real or perceived) he recovers quickly. He forgives.
It's such a challenge, isn't it? Mothering two very different little people, providing each one with what he needs, balanced by what you can realisticly give. As the youngest of four, I did not grow up with my brothers in the same way that Finn and Lachlan will - my brothers are much older. This sibling "balance" is one of my biggest challenges as a parent, and it makes me feel raw and vulnerable. (And often very tired.)
Sometimes, though, I realize that I have already learned a lot - I can call on past experiences, filed away in my mama's mind, to respond to my second child with an ease that wasn't yet natural with my first. Sometimes, the first pretends to be a mama, helping the second. Sometimes the first smiles along with the rest of us as we watch the second blossom in some mundane-yet-marvelous way. Sometimes I think about the blessing of being a recipient of more love, more play, more talk, and more rambunctious moments.
In those times, I know that being the second child is a special and unique experience, just as being the firstborn is.
I thought about this moment as I watched Lachlan "paint" for the first time. These are moments to remember.
Also, I wanted to draw your attention to the book recommendations in the right side bar. I've added links to books I am currently reading with both boys, which I will change as we rotate through our collection. My intention this year is to keep only 4-6 books out per boy, and rotate them weekly. An attempt to simplify
We are getting ready to go on our first vacation as a family of four! My in-laws were so kind to gift us a week of their time share and we are heading to the North Carolina mountains for a week. We're hoping for snow. I will be away from this space to fully enjoy the week with my boys. Enjoy your week, too!
