Sew Liberated

chuck your to-do list

I don't believe I've mentioned to you that my parenting role has shifted these last few months. Instead of equally sharing daily responsibility for the boys with Patrick, I am now with them all day, six days a week. Patrick is preparing for his prelims in mid-December, and needs to work on that full-time. (He's getting his Ph.D in history at Duke.) This lifestyle shift has become even more drastic this past month, as my parents have also been on an extended vacation. It's the second shift, and my time with the boys ends each day only to find me awake far too late, trying to keep the business humming. 

For some time there, I had it all wrong. My head was filled with work obligations, to-do lists, and future sewing exploits while I was with the boys. I was anxiously twiddling my thumbs in anticipation of naptime, trying to get "things done" while watching them (always a bad idea) and working myself into a ball of stress with inner dialogues of "I-should-be-" and "I-need-to-."

Why must I contantly be striving to accomplish more, to "make up for lost time", to "just get over this hump and then I can relax?" I know I'm not alone with these feelings. So many of us, especially parents, are working so hard, striving to get to that mythical period of rest, plenty, and stress-free living, that we totally forget about today.

You would think that it would be easy for me to appreciate all of the beauty in every moment, given that I can always fall back on the "at-least-we-aren't-in-the-hospital" mantra. But really, it took a few weeks of constant inner badgering and unsustainable fatigue for me to check my to-do list at the door.

The moment I chucked my to-do list, a weight lifted from my shoulders and I was able to enjoy my boys again. The most deleterious side effect of my to-do list  was that it made me feel like parenting full-time was a chore - something of a burden because it kept me from being productive. I was overcome with guilt (aren't I, the former teacher and parenting blogger, supposed to adore every minute I spend with my own children?) ;) and I decided that it was neither me nor my boys that was causing this malaise. It was the darn to-do list.

So goodbye, responding to emails. Goodbye, long list of house projects. Goodbye, worry over producing new pattern designs. Goodbye, attending Quilt Market. Etc., etc. 

Phew! It felt so good. 

The next step was deciding that I was going to have fun with my boys. If I was going to spend all day with them and not have any time for personal creative pursuits, I was going to try to do something fun and interesting with them - to share what I love with them.

That's when I pulled out the hand-me-down baby backpack and the Ergo carrier, and we got out of dodge. (To a nature preserve two miles from our home, mind you, but man, after a week of (successful!) potty learning on Finn's part, it felt like a real adventure!) I figured that Finn could wander as much as he wanted and I would carry him back in the Ergo if he got tired.

We walked about a mile. It was awesome. Solo parenting can hurt your back. But it's a good kind of sore.

So chuck your to-do list. And enjoy life as-is! 

our guest

Meet Patience, the Praying Mantis. 

If you've seen her hunt a fly, you'll know why we named her that. 

She cocks her head around to look at you. What a curious little creature. We're enjoying her company immensely. I mean, really - what other house guest eats house flies and moths? 

Our oatmeal jar got a quick repurpose as a makeshift terrarium, and now Patience feels at home enough to lay an egg sack, which we will happily release in our garden this spring. We feel fortunate to get to know the creatures who will be our garden sentinels. 

the studio up close

We've reached that point, post-move, where we know more about our home - how we move through it, where the light hits, how it shapes our days. I've started to hang pictures, re-organize storage spaces, and add pretty details that take a backseat to the everyday necessities. 

I shared the quickly-put-together studio space with you during the Playful Learning book tour; these past two weeks I've spent all of my naptimes perfecting this space, tweaking its finer (and not so fine) details. 

I'm loving those details. It's silly how much of a kick I get out of hanging art work and organizing desk tops (to the detriment of my floors and the gargantuan pile of laundry on my bedroom floor). But if I didn't invest time in the details, they would never get done. I might have a cleaner house, but in my opinion, it's a good trade. 

brothers

Photos in the Corn Pit at Ganyard Hill Farm

In case you thought it was all hunky dory in siblinghood in our house, let me assure you that we have the full range of human emotion going on here. 

"So many wonderful teaching moments and so much opportunity to practice my patience and compassion!" I say to myself on days that I've had my full quota of sleep and on days that everything else is going smoothly.  There are many days that are so wonderful, with only the occasional trip-up, that I forget about the other days.

Then there are those other days. The "I think none of us are going to survive this and I'm clearly ruining my children for life" days. I'm sure you've had them, too. Yesterday was one of those days.

Thankfully, a new day has dawned, as has my resolution to make forging loving relationships a priority in our home. Yes, I have a willful two year-old. This too shall pass? But it's more my attitude that needs to change. I think I need to apply some of my hard-learned lessons about feeding to sibling interactions as well. I need to see it as an opportunity to model and guide loving behavior rather than a problem to be fixed. Because, truly, are interpersonal interactions ever perfect? No- it's a life-long dance that we must learn, changing moves, rhythms, and partners. An evolving, moving art form. Some people are gifted, sure - but most of us learn through lessons, mistakes, and lots of practice. 

A few books are on my side table now as re-commit myself to loving discipline:

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline is an old favorite of mine from my time as a Montessori teacher. It's time to bring it out again now that Finn is older and Lachlan is becoming much more of a participant in his life, wanting to touch everything, put everyting in his mouth ... which is disconcerting to Finn.

Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour is a new-to-me book about intuitive storytelling - a parenting practice that is both effective and creatively engaging. It's full of stories that address a full spectrum of common behaviors (difficulty sharing, hitting, whining, dishonesty, etc.). The wonderful thing about this book is that it also guides the parent in the art of weaving a unique story to address a specific child and his/her needs. Finn has always responded very positively to our made-up stories (for bedtime and car-rides) so I'm really looking forward to reading it in more depth. 

the second time around

Not only does Lachlan wear all of Finn's baby clothes ... he gets hand-me-down parenting ideas, too. Fortunately for him, there are some things that don't lose their luster with use, and one of those things is the treasure basket.

He started sitting up with confidence about a week ago. He would veer to one side and topple over after a few minutes. Then I put him in front of a treasure basket and he sat there, enthralled, for nearly an hour. I kid you not! Talk about sitting stamina. This is baby concentration at its best. Finn was the same way with his basket. It must cast some sort hypnotic spell over six month-olds. 

Eventually, he flipped himself onto his back, announcing the end of the play session - we had a few ticklish belly laughs, and he fell promptly asleep. Hard work!

 

of apples and boys

I was thinking about titling this post "and so it begins." I would have added an exclamation point to that title, because there's this inner child in me that's getting all excited about what's going on in my house these days. 

The excitement is over something very simple. Apples. A shifting season. Decorations. Leaves changing. Noticing everything. 

The one who is doing the changing and the noticing is my little boy. He is most assuredly not a toddler any more. He is waking up to the world - its changes, its celebrations, and its more nuanced flow. For the first time, I find myself decorating for this autumn season. For the first time, I find myself accompanying FInn on walks to find acorns. He has ideas. Plans. He picks apples and wants to make applesauce and bake a pie. We do. He suggested we sing Happy Birthday to Autumn before we cut into our pie. He made the crust with minimal help. (He likes it that way - he is still two after all.) His sentences are long. Involved. He has theories about the health benefits of butter (It's good for my body and will give me energy to run, run, run!) ... says he who is trying to convince me that we don't need to reserve all of it for the crust and that he, perhaps, could just taste a tablespoon of it? 

We are embarking on our first season of celebration with a boy who is aware of it all. Last year was sweet, but he was still a baby. Everything was parent-directed, which felt just a bit contrived (the nature of that stage of parenting, I think). Now is the time that traditions will truly take root in our family, growing organically. We are becoming a conscious family. Let us celebrate with apple pie!

sweet potatoes

Purple! The photo does not do this justice, my friends. In our CSA this week, we received the most gorgeous sweet potato, and I immediately set to work steaming it up for my little sweet potato.

When I originally set about this parenting gig I intended to make every single thing that entered my children's mouths from scratch. Since then I have achieved a healthy balance of concern for what my babies eat and kindness for myself. With Lachlan, I have other worries. But, paradoxically, I am very aware of giving my little fellow good, whole food. So although I don't fuss over it, I want to give him healthy, tasty meals so that his body can serve him well. 

So yes. I buy him organic baby food on occasion (rip off! I know!). But I also make it when I can. It's so easy. (And those little jars are so useful for so many things, including storing the homemade stuff.) 

Organically Raised: Conscious Cooking for Babies and Toddlers is a crunchy-granola-yummy-cookbook that I've been enjoying greatly this time around. The sweet potatoes, both steamed and baked, have been a hit with both boys.

I opened up one of those jars of pureed sweet potato while on a picnic and I looked down at the spoon and thought to myself, people will think that I'm feeding my baby neon purple play-doh, for sure! It is a striking color of purple. 

Yum!

raw-edged raglan

Raw-edged Raglan from Sewing for Boys ; Basic Pocket Pants from Growing Up Sew Liberated

If sewing books could be friends, my book would want to be best buddies with Sewing for Boys . In Growing Up Sew Liberated, my goal in designing the clothes was to make them unisex, comfortable, and functional for movement and play. With Sewing for Boys , authors Karen LePage and Shelly Figueroa of Patterns by Figgy's have made a book packed with the same kind of comfortable, play-friendly clothing. Especially if you have litte guys in your life, these two books will really be all you need to outfit them for fun and play. (Says an unbiased author!) But, even if you have girls, you should check out Sewing for Boys. Why? Because girls need comfy clothes too! 

I started out with a pattern I've been wanting to make for a long time - the Raw-Edged Raglan, which I believe is Figgy's Tee for Two pattern. Rae has made a ton (here's her tutorial on making it a billiard tee), and now I know why - what an easy, hardy, stylish, and quick-to-make pattern this is!

For Finn's version, I used a precious piece of this Retro Glasses Frames fabric in the organic cotton knit, printed by Spoonflower. I kid you not - this whole thing took me an hour to make, from tracing the pattern to finishing the last seam. I even had a disagreement with my sewing needle while topstitching the collar (you can see where I had to stop and start the seam on the collar front). Despite the brief fight, it was such a pleasure to make. I'll be making more, since it seems like the boxes of hand-me-downs we recently got for our boys contain mostly collared shirts for Finn for the Autumn. The boy will need some more Mama-made comfies! 

So do check out Sewing for Boys . Hats off to Karen and Shelly for writing such a fantastic book!

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. - Amanda Soule

sponsor giveaway :: bella's casa

Bella's Casa is a learning community for parents, as well as an Etsy store selling hand made Montessori materials for infants and young children. Jae Jun, the creative force behind Bella's Casa, is a Montessori teacher and a monther. She created Bella's Casa as a resource for all parents who want to create (or enhance) learning spaces and activities that will grow a child's mind and instill confidence. She offers mobile-making classes in the Atlanta area, as well as offering an e-course for parents on creating a Montessori environment in the home for babies and very young children.

 

Meg: What is your background as an educator, and how did you come to love the Montessori philosophy?

I have my Montessori training for ages 3-6 (AMI certificate), and I have taught this age group for over a decade in Atlanta, Georgia, and New York City.  In my classroom experience, I experienced first hand the privilege of supporting the children’s education as an “aid to life” as I partnered with hundreds of families to best support the unique needs of their child.

 

I am passionate about all aspects of Montessori.  I am especially inspired by how Montessori encourages responsibility, nurtures self-discovery, promotes independence, inspires a love of learning – all with a foundation of respect.  Above all, I honor Montessori’s vision of creating “a peaceful world through the children.”

 
Meg: Bella's Casa is such an inviting space - how did you start it and what plans do you have for the future?

As a teacher, I worked closely with parents.  The longer I taught, the more I saw the importance of the parents’ role in their child’s education.  I came to see that the parents had a dynamic effect on their child’s experience in the classroom – and that connecting and partnering with the parents was equally important as educating the children in the classroom!

 

In my work as a teacher, part of my role included consulting with and educating parents. Just over a year ago, I decided to leave the classroom to focus on raising my daughter, Chelyn.  As a parent myself, I fully realized – now more than ever – the role the parent plays as their child’s teacher.  I have observed (and experienced firsthand) the struggles and concerns that parents encounter.  My training and experience gives me a unique and helpful perspective as I support and partner with parents to best support their child. 

  

My ultimate goal in the future is to provide phenomenal support to parents  with information, resources, inspiration, and material-making gatherings.

 

 

Photo from How We Montessori

Meg: What is your favorite learning material to make?

It has to be the visual mobile series. I remember seeing my daugher's facial expressions, having an absolute blast watching them. It's a must for all babies! 

 

Meg: If you could recommend three books on early childhood education to parents, what would they be?

 

1. Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three

2. Schools for All Kinds of Minds

3. Joyful Child/Child of the World- These are beautiful catalogs/books available from Michael Olaf. I used these catalogs as a valuable resource when consulting parents. My parents love them!!!

Leave a comment to be entered to win! Winners will be drawn on Monday, September 19th. Also, Bella's Casa is offering free shipping on all orders! Coupon code: AUG 2011. Thank you, and good luck!

Comments closed! Congratulations to Jessica.