kisses for a birthday

While I did spend my 30th birthday yesterday in a hospital room, I did so surrounded by the ones I hold dear - my three boys (two little and one big) and my parents. A chocolate cake, made by my sister-in-law, also happened to be in attendance, sweetening the day even more. Finn warmed my heart so much with the nearly thirty kisses he planted on Lachlan's forehead.

It seems that I can only manage one update a week - stolen computer time in between mothering two boys in different locations. Lachlan continues to do well. Last Tuesday he was moved out of the ICU and into his own room, with a bed and some privacy for us. (There's no way to get away from the beeping, though - I swear I will hear those beeps in my dreams for the rest of my life.) We're basically just waiting to see if Lachlan can get to the point where he takes most of his breastmilk orally. If not, we're looking at him having another very minor surgery to insert a temporary gastrostomy tube in his stomach to supplement his oral feeds. This is pretty typical of babies with HLHS. So we'll be here for at least another week, one way or the other.

I'm really having to work on my patience, because even if Lachlan isn't quite ready to come home yet, I am. I need to gently remind myself that he'll be home eventually, and that eventually we'll settle in to what will become our new normal. Right now I just feel like we're all floating in this limbo, and it's a challenging place to be. I'm thankful for Lachlan's health, but I'm just tired.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a beautiful day - maybe we'll head to the gardens with Finn. I'm tempted to rip off Lachlan's monitors and run outside with him, too. It's a shame to be alive and not be outside right now! Soon enough, soon enough. I think I'll pick some flowers for him to look at and smell in the meantime.

Warm wishes and much gratitude for your continued prayers and positive thoughts!